More Bacon Crazy

Ridiculous Bacon Products

Just about everyone loves bacon - some love bacon even more than sex according to a recent study. This is why we strive to launch a ridiculous bacon product every year. Don't worry, we test these products thoroughly on interns before they hit the market, and to date, we've only lost two of them.

Are we serious? We'll let you decide.

	Bacon Lip Balm Dave: "I want to make Bacon Lip Balm. I think it's funny." Justin: "That's the stupidest idea you've ever had." Dave: "Maybe, but I'm doing it anyways." They say that history is written by the victors. Dave won this one, so he gets to write what happened. Over 100,000 people and counting have enjoyed the feeling of smearing pig fat on their lips. Bacon Lip Balm makes a great stocking stuffer, and is actually vegetarian! And for the record, Justin now admits he was wrong. You can buy Bacon Lip Balm here.
	baconlube We've gotta be honest here - this one started as an elaborate April Fool's joke. The premise: with Bacon Lip Balm, bacon has made the jump from food product to personal care product. Thus the world's first bacon-flavored personal lubricant and massage oil, baconlubeTM. Right from the jump we were inundated with emails sent to keepitsizzlin@baconsalt.com, and you all have some very interesting and occasionally sick fantasies. Keep them coming, by the way. Regardless, we believe in giving people what they want, and apparently, they want to bring bacon into the bedroom. So here you go... you asked for it, you got it, world.
	baconbaby Infant Formula Don't mess with the kids - that's a good lesson for everyone. In 2010, we broke this rule and paid a major price. In response to our proposed launch of an infant formula with 4 nutritious servings of bacon per scoop, we experienced quite a backlash. A major news media outlet called to interview us on a story on childhood obesity - apparently we are the worst people in the world for even thinking about helping babies enjoy the great taste of bacon (we thought we were the best). Emails flooded in accusing us of horrible crimes against humanity. Was it a coincidence that we launched this one right around April Fool's Day? Probably, but we'll never tell. Pending FDA approval, get on the waiting list here.
	BaconAirTM Breathe deep, that's BaconAirTM! BaconAirTM was our failed attempt to combine the great taste and smell of bacon with 95% Himalayan oxygen in one convenient inhaler. What we didn't realize was that the air is really thin in the Himalayan Mountains, leading to a unique supply issue - we ran out of Himalayan oxygen! We are looking for new suppliers in the Andes and will keep you posted. For now, you can get on the waiting list here.
	Bacon Flavored MmmvelopesTM People have been licking envelopes that taste like the bottom of your shoe for millenniums. With Mmmvelopes, your envelopes will not only look like bacon, but the glue will taste like it too. So the next time you have a bill to pay, a letter to send, a ticket to pay, college admissions paperwork to submit or customers to communicate with, bring home the bacon with Mmmvelopes. Lick It. Love It. Mail It. Now buy it!
	Bacon Soda J&D's worked closely with Jones Soda to create a unique sparkling beverage that tasted like we had trapped the souls of pigs in a bottle. We called it Bacon Soda. During this limited time promotion, we successfully upset the stomachs and offended the taste buds of tens of thousands of consumers. For this, we offer no apologies - what did you think a product advertised as "liquid meat" would taste like? No longer available, but we reserve the right to bring it back.