Our launch of Baconnaise, The Ultimate Bacon-Flavored Spread, started out as a simple idea - get a whole bunch of mayonnaise, fill up a ring with it, and stage a wrestling match pitting a Giant Strip of Bacon vs. a Giant Jar of Mayonnaise for galactic condiment superiority. So we invited the guys from Seattle Semi-Pro Wrestling (SSP) and The Seattle Mudhens Women's Rugby Team to participate.
When we arrived at the nightclub that agreed to host it on the day of the event, the wheels started to fall off the Bacon Bus. Here's a short but not complete summary of how wrong this event went:
The mayo - We had no idea what 6,000 lbs of mayonnaise actually looked like. Turns out that it got delivered in VERY heavy and wide steel drums that not even the Canseco twins could carry. And the only door we could get the dollies through had a very long, very old and narrow staircase. It took about 8 guys per drum and there were 6 drums. Backs were almost broken, and hernias were surely suffered.
The ring - We intended to make the ring out of hay bales and neoprene sheets. Not so fast, the club owner said when we got there - that's a fire hazard. You need to cover those up! It took a couple of hours of driving around to find garbage bags that big to get it done, and then some serious hay bale surgery. End result - a ring that looked like a redneck backyard wrestling ring, filled with mayonnaise.
Towels - I'm not sure how many towels we actually brought - but it wasn't even close to enough. By the end of the bout, people who had either wrestled or been within 10 feet of ringside were using cocktail napkins to clean themselves.
The Costume - The Giant Bacon costume we had literally came apart in about 3 seconds under the weight of the mayonnaise. The wrestler in the costume didn't realize this, and only had tighty whitey underwear on underneath. To the delight of the crowd...
Underage Interns - We wrestled our underage intern vs. the Seattle Mudhens women's rugby team, and he apparently invited his mom and aunt to the event. They were pretty upset with us - and the intern not only didn't show up for work on Monday, he was never heard from again.
Too much tequila - It's almost like we didn't learn anything from the Ten Cent Beer Night riots in Cleveland... and we paid a price. When you have $3 tequila specials, people WILL do things you don't want them to do. Like jumping in or pushing their friends into the mayonnaise ring or throwing it all over the place. Which leads us to the worst mistake we made...
Cleanup - We didn't have anything close to a clear exit strategy (insert Iraq War joke here). When we walked in - which was clearly too late - was the first time we even discussed how we would clean up the inevitable mess. And when we say discussed, it was more like a question followed by two people shrugging their shoulders at the same time. So after all the people had left at 2am, our day was just getting started - in total, we spent 5+ hours cleaning up mayonnaise and hauling it up those narrow wooden stairs and left a mess that took up 3 spaces in the parking lot.
In the final tally, over 1,000 people showed up for the promised free BLT's and $3 drink specials. We made over 2,000 Baconnaise BLT's and served more booze than the nightclub had ever served in one night. We raised $3,000 for a great charity. And we put on a spectacle that will probably never again be repeated in human history.
Here's a video we made after the event that captures the event in most of its glory:
